Grounding

For so long i wanted to write about grounding… As a child, i don’t even think i had any grounding at all. Looking back it feels like i had this vague memory of where i came from, not really understanding why i was on earth. Just really sensitive for what is going here, people where so cruel. And i was carrying all of this, couldn’t really do much about it.

In my late twenties i started to do a course, about natural health. It was about herbs, reflexology, energywork, etc. And grounding was mentioned often, i had now idea what it even meant. So this sentence came up often… YOU MUST GET GROUNDED! And boy oh boy did this have an imput on my life, as i really had no clue how to do that.

First there was this fear, that i would loose my connection with where i came from. And probably lots of resistance as well, as i would rather go back to where i came from. And as much as i loved the earth as a planet, i couldn’t feel that bonding, my feet on the earth, the opening of my lower chakra’s to feel my energy go down deep into the earth.

I started doing all kind of things, like yoga, tai chi, gaialogy, shamanism and building the shamanic drums. And they have been amazing teachers! The process of building, and doing all the steps myself, is a really earthly and physical process. The lessons from the materials, wood and skins, tought me so much.

Soulretrieval.

Then 1,5 year ago, i joined an online weekend soul retrieval. A process that took all this time to show me so much information. In this retrieval i could see my incarnation process. Where i got stuck into a kind of loop, where i had to put in storage the knowledge/beauty from where i came from. But in doing so, i wasn’t able to see the knowledge/beauty/treasures of the earth. So it feels that for such a long i have been living in between this worlds, not able to connect to any of those worlds. This shamanic teacher, Andrew Hryniewicz, also offered a twoweekly medetation space, which really works, as you start to see the red line.

In this process, i have meditated so much, and found people like Dr Joe Dispenza, and Sarita at Solhenge. Thanks to the lockdown, the shamanic teacher of my shamanic teachers, Christopher moonbear, did an online event for many weeks. And now it all seems to go really fast…The meditations, dr Joe’s bodypart meditation, really helped me to connect with my body. Sarita’s meditations, wow they helped me to go up so much. And each time (as it is about grounding) i went higher up, i felt like connectiong deeper and deeper to the earth. I started to feel grounded in both worlds again. Just couldn’t believe after all these years of searching for ways to get grounded, going up and connecting to consicousness, the void, matter womb, was finally doing the trick.

Breakthrough.

And this morning, after feeling a bit of a crisis for a few days, i just felt the lower chakra”s open up completely, breathing deep into the earth, seeing her beautiful diamond core and the energy pouring into me. It went up to my heart, feeding it with so much love, and it opened up to the light above me as well. Because after being connected to these two world again, there was still my heart in between, and there was so much sadness, and it felt empty. I needed a few days to let this all out, it was just the realisation of having lived on this planet for so long, in between these worlds. It felt like a rebirth, the birth of a shamanic heart. But also the hollow bone, such connection between the worlds. And already such inspiration for the drummaking again.

And i really just wanted to write this all down, as i feel there will be so many people struggling with this grounding and incarnation process, and hope it can help them….

With so much gratitude for all the teachers and beautiful people that came on my path…

Here some links for some of the meditations i have done, i hope they will inspire you as well.

20 years of drummaking

For over 20 years now i have been creating drums, rattles and other shamanic tools. This has been my passion, and i am immensely grateful that i have been able to do this work. From creativity, connection with nature, and listening more and more to how to evolve in this work. To be open for the inspiration and idea’s that are whispered into my ears and hands.

From the beginning i have always gone through the whole process of the drummaking, steambending the frame, cleaning and stretching the hides. Not using any additives to get the hair of the skin, and as possible work with natural materials. The creation of a drum for me is a sacred process, in connection with nature, guides and drumspirits. Sometimes it will take time to find the right materials, the call of the drum to be born. This is a process that doesn’t always fit in our modern perception of time. Often it is also a process for me.

At first, it was a huge task to get to know all these aspects of drummaking. The fysical process of the creating. To get to know all the types of wood, and their bending properties. To find the right addresses, good sources for the skins. And by cleaning the skins myself, you start to get a feel for how much they will stretch, how much tension they will need for the best sound. I always tried to keep the energy neutral, so that it was open for the new guardian. And trusting on the energies of the wood, animal and crystals used. Nowadays i feel more and more the calling of certain energies that want to be connected with the drums, like in the above picture, the awakening of the conscious heart. This was born from the process i was in, connecting more and more with my heart energy. Lately i feel more and more drawn to work this way, to closely listen what is going on and translate it into a drum or rattle.

Earth goddes rattle

The above rattle made me find this small cave, what a great place to empower the feminin energy. So i feel more and more the call to take them outside, to a place they show me, to connect with the ancient energies of the earth. Blessed to live in this beautiful environment in France, the Dordogne. Where many parts of nature are still pure.

Now in these challenging times with the lock-down, lots of things keep happening in my process. I have been living quite isolated here already, but took the time to rest and energise for two weeks, to connect with what was going on, exploring more ideas and truely with renewed passion and energies for the ideas that are waiting to be brought to life.

Skins used for the drums

Sometimes people ask me if i know more about the past life of an animal, or weather it has died for the making of the drum. I can reassure that is never the case, i would never make drums if animals had to die for it. Also i try to get them from smaller sources, to make sure there was less suffering and stress for the animal.

The other day i found a badger, just around the corner from where we live, it was a roadkill. So i took the body and skinned it, not my favourite job, but in the process you can honour the animal and connect with it. During a little ceremony for her next journey, i noticed fear and shock, confusion, what happened…. From there i could see the opening to so much light and love… so much more than what we can experience as humans… I could feel badger’s spirit close to my heart, we watched together.

It actually also made me wonder, isn’t our greatest lesson in life the lesson of dying? To surrender to what is so much bigger than what we are as human beings? And would there be somewhere in this universe cultures that have mastered this…?

Little badger, you can stay close with me for a while, till you are ready to continue your journey. And in this world, i will honour your life and make a medicine drum from your gorgeous skin.

Have a safe journey!

Dreaming Drums

It must have been around the summer of 1999 that i made my first drum during a shamanic course with Maarten Bosscher/Thunderhorse and Jos Heerkens/Twobears, the drummaker, in Portugal. At first i didn’t want to join, but after meeting my drumspirit and the spirits Maarten was working was, i decided to go for it. During those weeks Jos’ and mine paths kept on crossing (literally) and we started living and later working together. We were looking for a name for the drums, so i asked the ambling fire for a name, and dreaming drums was the answer! In the beginning we thought, ok nice name, good alliteration,  and we slowly introduced it. However we learned that there was so much more to this name, the dreaming quality of the sound, the overtones, the journeying, and people also very  often dreamed of their drums. Sometimes they came to visit for a workshop to create their own drum, to discover that we already made the drum they dreamed of.

After many years we went our own way, i went to the UK, Jos went back to Holland. Very unfortunately and sadly Jos passed away last year. After that i moved from the UK to France, the Dordogne, to an old farmhouse in a gorgeous environment to be able to live the dream of making drums in connection with nature. On the land are two springs in the valley, and as often i saw Jos his eyes staring at me, there i realised he wanted to say goodbye, but also i understood a little more about the meaning of the name, it is also the bear’s quality of dreaming, living in his cave and hibernating, the quality of healing and dreaming. In this area are also lots of caves, even on the land, plenty of opportunity for meditation, drumming, connecting, healing. 

 Our move to France wasn’t without problems, they kept all our stuff for two months because of a dispute between the two moving companies, although we didn’t know that immediately. The fear of loosing all the tools, wood etc for the drummaking wasn’t the best start for our new life. And a few months later my partner had a serious stroke and is still in the process of recovering. 

The other day something strange happened though, when i came outside, in front of my workshop i found a little plastic bag, with a bear paw from Jos his black bear rug, some bear nails, but also his ceremonial necklace with a beartooth in it… I have packed, unpacked all his stuff several times, but never seen it, and there it is, outside on the floor, nearly taken away by the dogs…

It somehow feels that the circle is closing, and during the last workshop drummaking in our house, the man told me that he constantly had the feeling Jos was sitting behind him.



I really hope that we will find a new balance in our life, connect with nature and create many dreaming drums!